welcome to the world of tom and tim

Eliminate the taboo surrounding stillbirth. That is my great wish.

Parents who have had to deal with a stillborn baby not only have to deal with grief, but also with a grieving process. It is not only a major event for the parents, but also for the immediate environment, who often do not know how to deal with it. Some well-intentioned responses can hurt. That can lead to misunderstanding. A consequence of this may be that the other person thinks: “Never mind…”. Obviously this is not the intention.


It is my mission to eliminate these kinds of situations. Moreover, I want to remove everything around stillbirth from the taboo atmosphere. Everyone should be able to talk ‘just’ about the loss of a child, the grief that accompanies it. Without causing irritation. Everyone should be able to talk about it, both parents and the environment.


That is why I wrote the book Stillborn in which I wrote down my own experiences with the loss of my children. This book may offer comfort and give recognition or insight. I wrote it out of love for my sons Tom and Tim. However, it is also a story of many parents who will recognize themselves in this, who, like me, have lost a child. For the environment of involved parents or mothers I have made the e-book To do and not to do. The e-book can be downloaded free of charge.


I want to read

I wrote my book out of love for Tom and Tim. At some points the book, with my own experiences, is sometimes described in great detail. I did this deliberately to take the reader into my story. It is therefore not a succession of emotions and self-pity. The book Stillborn, which I wrote from a mission, is about making it clear to others what it does to you. Of course I will carry the pain of losing my children with me for the rest of my life. It is my ultimate wish that my book offers the reader comfort and insights and recognition. In addition, I want to create understanding and awareness about stillbirths and miscarriages.


Desirée: “I am 22 weeks pregnant when I suddenly become very ill. It is soon discovered that I suffer from HELLP syndrome, a severe poisoning of the pregnant mother. As parents-to-be, we end up in a nightmare when we are told that the pregnancy must be terminated. Tom is born lifeless when he is 23 weeks and five days old. More than a year later, fate strikes again. HELLP is diagnosed for a second time and after 25 weeks and a day my stillborn son is Tim born. I wrote ′′ Stillborn ′′ out of love for my two sons Tom and Tim. With this book I want to share my experiences and show you that you can become happy again after losing your child. This can sometimes take longer than you expect. I hope that through this book there will be a greater understanding of the subject of stillbirth.”

prevent painful situations in case of stillbirth and miscarriage

It’s hard enough holding yourself together as a mother of a stillborn baby or if you’ve had a miscarriage. To avoid painful and uncomfortable situations, I have made a short and clear e-book that you can request below. The tips in the e-book helped me a lot at the time to deal with Tom and Tim’s stillbirth. When I gave these tips to my environment, I noticed that there was understanding.

Giver: Do and don't

feedback on the boek

Very clever how well Desirée has put this into words. The pain, frustration and sadness that is so deep in many people with a stillborn baby, palpable and purely put on paper. Desirée’s intention to support people with her book is one straight from her heart. As an experience expert and professional, she will help a lot of people. You did it, the book is here!


With this book, Desirée breaks the taboo surrounding stillbirth. Her personal story about the loss of her sons touched me deeply. I sincerely hope that this book inspires parents, family, friends and care providers to break the (self-imposed) silence. You cannot heal without sharing.


A beautiful, poignant and also informative book about a woman, a miscarriage and two stillborn children that touches many hearts and helps and heals people, written from the perception/emotion of the woman and mother. Desirée, you also touched me with this book; I who had a child’s wish and was never officially pregnant.



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